Dear Disk-O:

Ok, which of you pinheads swiped my red cardigan? I want it back pronto, capiche? Or else King Friday’s gonna open a can of whoop-ass on you and your little website.

Sincerely,

Fred Rogers

Dear Disk-O;

Thank you for your last issue, the paper quality was beyond par, as a graphic designer I truly enjoyed the feel, finish and overall cut. I have never seen anything printed in a pentagram before. Kudos to you and yours. Here’s my check for another year’s subscription.

Gene Stifler

Dear Disk-O:

While I agree with your article that weasels are best left in the wild, I still would like to have just a little one. Please?

Cathy Lee Gifford

Editor: No Dear.

Hey Disk-O,

My friends and I just love your ‘zine, it’s hip, trendy and on the decapitated edge of culture. You guys rock. Now that Pamela has ditched me, do you think I could come over and hang some time like we used too?

Tommy Lee

Dear Disk-O:

As Carol Channing's publicity agent, I must ask that you retract your article regarding close ties with Bhuddism as reported in your article "Hello Dalai." In the future I should hope that your research team will sniff less glue before editing your next issue.

Moira Banks

Dear Disk-O:

I found your last article on weasels strange, disturbing, but not unusual.

Tom Jones

Dear Disk-O:

I would like to point out that flatulence is not a useful analogy when talking about unbridled enthusiasm in the marketplace. Though I did find it one hell of a knee slapper.

Allan Greenspan

Dear Disk-O:

I explicitly said, "You could be a millionaire." I think you’re taking this a bit too seriously.

Ed McMahon

Dear Disk-O:

I am shocked and dismayed by your research staff, a publication would sooner trust a pair of wild hyenas hopped up on goofballs to check copy.

Edmund Strunk
Rolling over in his grave

Editor: The hyenas in question have not been known to consume barbiturates.

Dear Disk-O:
I have a poem that I wrote for you....

Editor: unfortunately this letter fell victim to spontaneous cumbustion under suspicious circumstances. We are of course informing federal agents who will assist in investigating this bizarre mishap at the taxpayer’s expense.